Cover photo: A diner 

I could have unpeeled a clementine five minutes ago instead of unwrapping a matcha ice cream.

I could have dyed my hair pink instead of blue.

I could have earned straight C’s my last semester in high school. I would never go for straight B’s because capital B’s look kind of ugly in succession.

I could have said so much in the rain.

I could have stopped at two piercings.

I could have worn my black ring sparingly.

I could have started learning a new language.

I could have backpacked in Korea instead of Japan for my summer solo trip. I suppose I could have gone to Nepal or Morocco or the Moon.

I could have distanced myself from my friends’ problems at the cusp of graduation.

I could have gone to school on the East Coast.

I could have taken a gap year. I could have done an infinite number of things.

I could have never started a blog.

I could have hitched up my skirt and gotten married.

I could have spent less time lost in my head, playing through mental dream sequences backed by a phenomenal soundtrack, and instead done more with my hands and the physical world.

I could have been more careful about not getting bike grease on my skirt.

I could have auditioned for an a cappella group instead of the Spoken Word Collective.

I could have binge-watched Parks & Rec instead of Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

I could have trusted less people.

Trusting people could have gone worse.

I could have worn socks with sandals.

I could have ordered something other than a peach crush or a gin & tonic.

I could have gone to San Francisco more often.

I could have delayed a breakup.

I could have been kinder to the environment.

I could have been more or less anxious.

I could have stayed up to less ridiculous hours.

I could have taken a countless number of classes instead of Introduction to Philosophy.

I could have befriended entirely different people and remained an absolute stranger to the people in my dorm. I could have been the enigma of the hall.

I could have spent a lot of time exercising and felt better about my body.

I could have felt better about my body.

I could have not come back home for the holidays.

I could have lost a home to come back to.

I could have been a better friend.

I could have been a worse friend.

I could have kissed more people.

I could have kissed more.

I could have left less things unsaid, less letters unwritten, less corners unturned.

I could have died and come back as a dragonfly.

But here I am, and here things are. Everything is both serendipitous and jinxed. I continue to take on a new bundle every day. I continue to not know.