I really had no clue what 2019 had in for me. It came rocking like a polished amusement park train, then slammed into my chest. I swear I celebrated New Year’s about two months ago, but here I am, already halfway through the thick. I realized it was time to evaluate the resolutions I’d set at the beginning of this year. For a quick recap: I had decided to make specific, measurable resolutions, and set six months as the time span instead of a whole year. I had also decided not to hold myself to flawless standards, but rather to aim for a 70% completion rate. For the reasoning behind why I made these choices or to read what my resolutions were, read my old post (linked here).

I had made 15 resolutions, and 70% is exactly 10.5 resolutions. That didn’t make sense to me at first and I rounded it up to 11, but upon actually starting to evaluate my resolutions, it was clear how common it was for something to be “half complete”. I listed each evaluation below for my own sake, but unless you’re interested in those details, skip the bullet points and scroll down to read my reflections.

Academic

  • Self-study the material for AP Calculus BC and take the test. Half complete. This actually kind of makes me laugh. I did indeed take the test, but I didn’t even come close to studying all the topics.
  • Self-study the material for 검정고시, the Korean high school equivalency exam. Incomplete. The plan had been to review mainly Korean history, and I just never got around to it.
  • Review Mandarin. Complete. (Or, rather, I spent a significant enough time on it to count the resolution as complete.) As soon as summer started, I enrolled in conversational classes, which have turned out to be pretty fun. I just go chat about life twice a week.

Personal

  • Read at least 8 books, at least 1 of them Korean, and keep track of them. Complete, and hopefully I’ll get around to writing some book reviews.
  • Blog weekly. Complete. While my upload schedule became pretty inconsistent, when I tallied up the total blog (or poetry) posts over the last six months, it comes down to almost having posted once a week.
  • Upload the S(e)oul City Series biweekly. Incomplete. I didn’t have as much drive to be the kind of blogger that visits places and takes nice pictures. That’s not to say I haven’t explored the city—but I didn’t follow through on blogging my ventures.
  • Work out 3 times a week. Half complete. I say this because I work out 3 times a week these days, but I only got around to it once I graduated.
  • Consistently use my planner. Complete.
  • Find a summer job. Complete.

Creative

  • Seoul-based short story. Complete. I got rejected from the anthology I sent it to, but what’s important is that I wrote it.
  • Learn screenplay formatting and write one feature film. Half complete. I did learn the formatting, and almost finished a short film, but never wrote a feature-length screenplay.
  • Edit novel. Complete. I finally sat down and read through the monstrosity. I realized it’s pretty much crap. But I’m still proud I did it.
  • Take acting classes. Incomplete. I took one class, didn’t like it, and never found another one.
  • Write the lyrics to one song. Complete, I guess. I pulled together some lyrics that had been stewing and sent them to a songwriting friend.
  • Launch Project Interview. Never happened.

The grand total comes down to 9 and a half completions. Pretty close! That’s a 63% success rate. For my very first time trying something like this, it feels pretty good, even though I didn’t achieve my goal. The important thing is, there are things on that list I would have completely forgotten about had I not committed to them through feasible, concrete resolutions. Especially in June, knowing the mid-year mark was coming up, I found myself planning to actually get started on the goals I’d set months ago.

I learned that I’m prone to letting my goals shift. A passing gust of motivation would take me up in its fist, just to let me down gently on the ground weeks later, leaving me blank and oblivious and waiting passively for another wind. In a way, that’s why the 30% margin exists—because six months is enough time to realize that I don’t really want to pursue something. But the 70% is there to keep me accountable for trying to stick to most of them.

Besides, it’s not fun if I win right away. I get another six months to attack a whole new list, and that’s exciting. This time around, however, I don’t think I’ll have as many resolutions, because I’m entering college in a couple months and there is so much about my lifestyle this freshman fall that I cannot anticipate at this point. This time, instead of categories, I am breaking my resolutions into summer life (I still have 2.5 months left!) and college, the bucking bull I’m about to mount.

Summer

  • Write one feature-length screenplay; make at least 1 contest deadline
  • Go on an overseas trip with a friend
  • Continue exercising consistently
  • Read 5 books, at least 2 of them Korean
  • Practice guitar regularly; come away with a set of favorite songs I can comfortably play memorized

College

  • Say “yes” to one thing I initially didn’t think I would do
  • Go fountain hopping
  • Audition for something that makes me nervous
  • Push myself to take challenging math
  • Settle into a regular exercise routine; find what works for me on campus
  • Don’t drop the ball on this blog. Continue posting… roughly once a week.

That’s 11 resolutions, so I’m aiming for around 8 completions. For some reason, I have more faith in myself this time. The resolutions seem easygoing, benevolent, and growth-oriented, as they should be. Here’s to plunging into the second half of Bloom