I have forgiven myself already

For the shortcut I took today

And for the honey on my fingers,

The crumbs on my lips- I,

I have been so generous- hush,

I have forgiven you- so,

so many times- I,

expect you to do the same for me.

 

My childhood games

Always let the villains go

The stubby fingers

of a sparing God

Her sparing eyes

Cast no judgement upon the poor plastic men

Moving when pushed,

broken when dropped

 

I have heard that I could give you my heart,

if I wanted,

and you could live the same way you always have

Because our veins are made the same

Our souls sigh the same,

Sin the same

And our rage alights alike:

Of angels born into purgatory,

Thrown into a lifetime

Of descending our stepladders

And tilting our heads down at those who have slipped

A little further

 

But the ladders stretch into infinity

How silly, the cold gaze of those

aloft and mighty

 

So I take my repentance short and sweet

No, heavens,

I will not end my days begging for forgiveness-

Death will catch me unawares

Trailing a long track of sins

Craning my neck up

And in motion